


Battles Lost And Won

by evetessmacher



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: 3x23 Rewrite, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, KaraMel, Letters, Love, Relationship Discussions, Season 3 Finale, SuperValor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-29
Updated: 2019-01-29
Packaged: 2019-10-18 22:23:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,819
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17589518
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evetessmacher/pseuds/evetessmacher
Summary: Kara finally wins the battle against Reign and the Kryptonian priestesses,but she has to deal with a great loss in the meantime.





	Battles Lost And Won

**Author's Note:**

> In this version, Winn didn't leave for the 31st Century and Brainy goes with the legion. It is not brainiac that the legion are fighting in the future. Enjoy!

“Well you did it. Just like a Greek myth. You went down to the underworld and slayed the three-headed monster and saved Persephone.” Mon-El approached Kara on the DEO balcony, somewhere they’ve found each other pretty often in the last few months, somewhere they shared a lot of advice  and conversations only they could have. Kara smiled looking down before correcting Mon-El’s still flattering comment, “Uh, I think in the myth Persephone eats pomegranate seeds and is confined to the realm of Hades forever.”

“Yeah well that just strengthens my point because the Greek Gods have nothing on you.” He continued without missing a beat, overwhelming Kara for a second.

“It was far from perfect, for many reasons but.. I couldn’t have done it without you.“ He had been the partner she had always dreamed of, ever since he landed on Earth and she took him under her wing. They could understand each other so well and predict each other’s moves with a look: but that ability didn’t come from their trainings or fights together on the battlefield. 

Quite the opposite.

“No, that’s not true. This victory was yours. And it was flawless.”

Mon-El had always been so sincere when it came to complimenting Kara, she recognised his honesty by simply looking at his eyes, she swore she could still see the shadow of the boy from Daxam she loved over a year ago.

“What’s on your mind?”

“Before we went to Argo, I just had this thought that I could be Kara Zor-El, ordinary citizen.. I would feel like I was home. But when we were fighting Reign and the witches, I had this moment, this realisation that Argo City is not my home anymore. National City is. Earth is. And my mission is to protect it. My whole life is here.”   
  
She took a breath, “Messy. Complex. Balancing Kara and being a hero, that’s… that’s who I am.” Was she satisfied with this realisation, though? Was Kara actually happy to give up that girl from Krypton, because Earth had welcomed her? Because she felt like she owed something to this planet? There was no denying that she had no other choice than to be only Kara Danvers, how could she be Kara Zor-El without…

“I have loved fighting by your side. Being there through all of it, the ups and down, the particularly tough days.” Mon-El interrupted her with a broken voice, his eyes were visibly covered in tears; whatever was coming, Mon-El didn’t want to say it, and most importantly, Kara didn’t want to hear it.  “You know for a moment there, I thought that maybe this was my place. My time.”

_“It is. It is.”_  An echo haunted both of their minds, it just couldn’t reach their lips.

“But I learned some troubling things today about the future.” And finally.. the dreaded words, came with a tremble in his voice.

“I need to go back.“

His heart shut off, he shut out everything that anchored him to National City, giving voice only to Mon-El the Legionnaire, the Leader. “I can’t abandon the Legion or the world that I swore to protect right when they need me most.”

’ _Duty over happiness. Duty over love. Earth comes first. I don’t want to go. But I have to go.’_

“I know you can’t. You wouldn’t be the man you are if you did, the man I admire so much.”  _‘Don’t go. Don’t go. Please. I made that mistake a year ago. Don’t go. We can make it work. Don’t go.’_

Looking at Mon-El and hearing what he had to say, Kara relived the day she hated the most. It was like he was repeating the same things she thought to convince herself that back then, sending him away was the right choice.

“Well I guess we both have some saving to do.”  _‘There’s nothing we can do. We tried. We belong to different worlds.’_

A bitter chuckle escaped his mouth, when all he wanted to do was scream. His feet started to walk away from Kara and Mon-El realised that this really was the end of their story, until he stopped in his tracks and removed his Legion Ring from his finger: “Hey. It’s about time you had one of your own”

He had her necklace, she had his ring. “Thanks.” Tears were forming in Kara’s eyes, inevitably, she almost wanted to yell at him to go away and make things easier: she didn’t want him to know how much it hurt to say goodbye once again, she didn’t want Mon-El to feel guilty of her pain, she didn’t want him to see her being so  _vulnerable._

“In case you ever need me.” He said so softly, like it was a dying breath, like it was his last caress on her cheek and just like that.. he left. Mon-El said goodbye to the world he wished he could call his home, but just couldn’t; Mon-El simply was a piece of a game that was way bigger than him.

In the meantime, Kara cried on the balcony. The city below her feet was so loud, while she had been so quiet.

Those words she couldn’t say before filled her stomach like a weight that hurt too much. Why was she back at the same point? Why couldn’t she let her thoughts come out? Why did she let Mon-El go again? Why? Why?

Kara’s elbows rested on the balcony, her hands were covering her face, her sobs barely audible when she felt a touch on her shoulder.

“Kara.”

“Imra?” She was definitely the person she least expected to see in that moment.

“I know it’s a difficult moment, but I wrote this.. you need to read it. You deserve to know the truth.”

The Kryptonian dried her cheeks quickly, confused by whatever she meant, but thankful. “Thank you, Imra.”

“You’re welcome.” She smiled before turning away, not wanting to make this more painful than it already was for Kara.

“One thing.”

“Yes?”

“Keep an eye on him for me.”

Imra nodded sadly, but determined to keep her word, she knew that the bond they shared was something she couldn’t even comprehend.

* * *

 

“Mom? I know you have to go back to Argo City but… can you please stay one more night? I would like to show you where I live and I really need my mom right now.” Kara smiled at Alura, but the woman could easily see that something was broken inside of her daughter’s eyes: it didn’t take long for her to figure out what the problem was. 

“Of course, my dear.” The mother pulled Kara in her arms for a hug; she caressed her blond locks just like she did when she had nightmares as a child, Kara’s head rested on her shoulder as she breathed shakily. 

“It’s okay,” Alura consoled her, “I’m here, it’s alright.”

Kara opened the door of her apartment, “And this is where I live. Kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom’s on the left.” She pointed at each room.

“It looks cozy in here! What do you usually do on nights like these?”

“Nights like what?”

“After such a big victory.”

Kara laughed as she placed her purse on a chair and her glasses on the table, “I don’t really have.. a tradition.”

“You should have.”

“I’ve only been doing this superheroing thing for a few years, I’ve had a couple of victories like this but.. I never had the chance to celebrate.” 

The grin from her face had disappeared, after realising that she never felt truly satisfied about those battles she had won: she always had a parallel battle lost.

Alura’s voice shifted, she knew that her daughter was thinking about something heaving on her heart, “Come sit here.”

Kara chewed on her lower lip, “I was just thinking.. when we beat Non and Indigo we were celebrating, until a pod crashed and it was Mon-El’s.”

“I guess it’s time to bring up that talk we mentioned back then on Argo, what do you think?”

She inhaled deeply, “Then last year, we beat the Daxamites but I was more devastated than happy; we used a lead diffuser to have them retreat and I had to send Mon-El away. For months I believed I had killed him. Then it turned out, he actually hit a disruption that sent him to the 31 st  century and that’s where he spent seven years.. until we found his ship.”

“That’s a lot to take in.”

“And the worst part of it all, was that for just for one second I thought we could pick things up from where we had left them but.. he got married. Imra is his wife.” 

Kara had gotten so used to that word, to that phrase she pronounced many times, but it still hurt enough to make her close her eyes.  
  
“And are they still together?”

“I guess, why do you ask?”

“I saw them talking on the DEO balcony before, I saw them hugging but it didn’t seem like a.. married couple hug.”

“Mom, I appreciate you wanting to make the pill easier to swallow, but—wait. I just remembered that Imra gave me a letter to read.”

“Really? What did she say?”

“Not much, only that  _‘I deserved to know the whole truth’_ , whatever that means.”

“What are you waiting for? Open it!”

Kara stood up and walked to take the letter in her purse, “What if I don’t want to read this? What if there’s something that hurts me written inside of this letter?”

Her heart started pounding, she couldn’t bear more pain.

“Then I’ll be with you, by your side.”

Alura had a point, no matter what was written in that letter, Kara didn’t have to go through hurt by herself. She was going to be okay.  
  
Taking one more deep breath, she noticed a few crossed words and scribbles, she started reading out loud sitting near her mom:

_“Dear Kara,_

_I’m writing this in a rush and I know we didn’t really have the opportunity to talk one on one while I was in National City and we often fought over our plans on how to defeat the Worldkillers, but I want to tell you all the things I couldn’t say or.. didn’t want to say before. Just know that your example has truly shaped all of the Legionnaires into the heroes we are now, and I’m sorry if I lost sight of what we stand for when my family came in between. And finally you probably hate the mention of the seven years Mon-El has spent in the 31_ _ st _ _century but please, keep reading._

_You think you know the truth, but you only know the shell of it: when the Blight killed my sister, my parents took all their rage and fury on humans, planning on destroying Earth. This happened not long after I met Mon-El, right when the Legion was founded; we were team mates and friends, he was still suffering and mourning you, not knowing what he had to do to honour you or what you would have done in his place. We had to unite Earth and Titan to find peace, before it was too late. My father decided we had to get married. Mon-El was not in love with me, I wasn’t in love with him, but those were the rules if we didn’t want another war breaking out._

_Over time, my feelings became more real, and also his: that is, at least, what he wanted to think; we got used to each other but we were never truly in love. Not like you two were. For all those years I’ve seen him fidgeting with his necklace whenever he was depressed, conflicted, in a dark place. His necklace was his only anchor, it gave Mon-El hope in the most difficult times and I suspect you have something to do with it: he never told us anything about it, he’s really possessive of it._

_Him and I aren’t together anymore, his love for you never faded away, it’s clear to see. He still loves you with all his heart. I’m so sorry new missions got in the way and Mon-El needed to go back. I truly wanted him to stay with you: he’s different, he is happier, he seems healthier when he’s around your team at the DEO. The 31_ _ st _ _century deteriorated him, but I promise you we will not let anything bad happen to him._

_Imra.”_

The tears were now flowing down Kara’s cheeks, she didn’t even have the strength to say a word; she was petrified by all the words she had just read, the whole truth had overwhelmed her. 

Alura was just as shocked, but kept holding her daughter close. It surely wasn’t an easy bite to swallow. “Mom I thought he moved on.” Kara managed to say through sobs, “Do you know how many times I told myself to move on and be happy because that’s what he did? How many times I had to pretend to be okay in front of them and repeat to myself that there was nothing to do?”

Kara didn’t know if she had to be mad at herself, at Imra, at Mon-El, at Rao, at the whole universe that kept bringing them back together just to tear them apart again: she felt every single emotion flowing through her veins, yet she had never felt that weak. Then all at once, the realisation:  _he had never stopped loving her_.

Kara had been afraid that all the words he had told her in Argo City, in that dream like garden, were just a product of an infatuation based on memories; she believed that was just a spur of the moment thing and he would’ve gone back to his wife, but now, she knew that she had fooled herself.

“It’s too late now. I wasted too much time focusing on defeating Reign that I forgot to talk to Mon-El.. about us. I should’ve told him to stay, mom.. he would’ve stayed.”

She threw that piece of paper on the floor.   
  
”Before he left.. I- I gave him your necklace. Do you remember what you told me before sending me away from Krypton?”

”That the necklace would’ve kept you safe and I would’ve been with you in your dreams.”

Her eyes closed once again, nodding, devastated. ”Mom, I loved him.”

”I know, Kara..”   
  
The brokenness in her voice had become prominent, her pauses were replaced by sobs and there was nothing Alura could’ve said that would’ve made that pain easier to handle.

* * *

 

The next morning, Kara hadn’t really woken up, since she hadn’t slept at all, but her alarm clock momentarily interrupted the tornado of thoughts that haunted her: it was the same cycle starting all over again. Loving someone always ended up with leaving. The regret covered all her face, Kara hadn’t let Mon-El stay. That was the thing she needed the most in that moment: someone who would stay.   
  
“I can’t leave you like this.” Alura said worryingly, she knew she had responsibilities on Argo City as part of the Council, but family came first.

“No, no, you have to go. You have a city to take care of. I’ll be fine.”

“Kara, please stop this.”

“Stop what?"

“Pretending you’re fine.”

She paused, “I didn’t say I’m fine. I said I will be.”

“Then let me stay until you are.”

“I can’t let you stay here knowing that there’s a planet waiting for one of its leaders.”

“Is this Supergirl talking? Or Kara, my Kara Zor-El?”

Kara shook her head, not seeing the point in her mother’s question. “What do you mean?”

“For a second, stop worrying so much about responsibility and work, stop worrying about what’s morally correct, stop caring about other people. Stop being Supergirl. For a second, be only Kara; now tell me, would you want me to stay? Until I know you’re alright?” 

That question opened a hole in Kara’s heart, she definitely didn’t expect such a thing: she had stopped seeing herself as  _“Only Kara”_  in the moment she put on that red cape, she had never allowed herself to see things from that perspective.  
  
Kara remembered what Cat Grant once told her, when she wanted to rescue Mon-El and Lena without hitting the Daxamite ship,  _“Wanting to rescue them is not selfish, it’s everything.”_

Feeling love, sadness, anger or wanting someone by her side wasn’t selfish, it wasn’t a favour she was doing for herself, it was everything. This was what being human was all about, it wasn’t about having a normal job and a normal life.

“Yes.” With a weak voice, Kara finally replied truthfully.

* * *

 

It had been a week since Alura decided to stay, but since Kara was comfortable again in her daily routine, they both decided it was time to separate.

“Let’s not make this more emotional than what it already is, okay? Winn is already working on a new spaceship with J’onn, but until then we have the portal.” Kara smiled, 

“Thank you for everything, mom.”

“I love you.”

“I love you, too.”

They hugged each other for long seconds, before waving goodbye: Alura smiled back at her daughter and her team, which was also a second family she had loved to meet.

Obviously much time had gotten lost, but they knew now there was so much to spend ahead of the two of them, Kara had been so grateful to receive a second chance with her mom; she wished she could’ve said the same thing about Mon-El. 

Their second chance passed them by without realising, one was wondering what the other was thinking, assuming they didn’t love each other anymore and their time was over. 

The loft was incredibly silent that evening, a deafening silence she only noticed in the first months Mon-El was gone but then went away with time and help by her friends, whether it was a game or a movie night. 

But again, Kara decided to not host those nights for a while, having to get used to loneliness once more: as she was sipping her coffee after dinner watching television, a knock interrupted the quietness; apparently, her friends were too stubborn and wanted to organise a surprise game night, or so she thought, until.. she opened the door.

“Hi.” Kara almost closed the door again, thinking it was a mirage, a bad prank her brain was pulling on her, but no. It was real, he was real. 

Mon-El was standing in front of her and she was doing absolutely nothing. except for breathing heavily. She couldn’t even get a word out, so she decided to pull him into her arms and let that do the talking.  
  
“How- how are you here?” His hands, just like hers, kept caressing her hair onto her back.

“It might have been eight years, but I would never forget where your apartment is.” Mon-El smiled gleefully.

“I meant here, in National City, in the 21st century.”

“Oh, that! Well.. Brainy dropped me here.”

They finally walked into the apartment and closed the door, “Wow.”

Mon-El hadn’t been in that place in eight years and he was overwhelmed, Kara smiled tearfully at that,“Come sit here.” 

A strange feeling of déjà-vu crossed both of them, “Tell me what happened.”

“I- I don’t even know exactly what happened. All I know was that once we arrived in the future, things were different than what Brainy had told.”

“But he’s never wrong, I mean, mathematically speaking at least.”

“Yeah, I thought so too. But he said that the past changed because of a disruption, therefore the future had changed too. The enemy we were supposed to defeat had already been dead for centuries, because someone we both know had killed him.”

“Wait, who?”

“Technically, I’m not supposed to say it because it could change the future, but he has your same glyph but doesn’t wear a skirt.”  
  
Kara and Mon-El laughed like they hadn’t in months, both still not believing that they were on that couch together again. 

A little hesitantly, Kara asked Mon-El: “What made you.. come back? I thought you said that this wasn’t your place.”

Mon-El knew that that question was coming, he knew he was going to sound like a hypocrite: “In the moment I stepped back there, I realised that I didn’t belong to that place anymore. The Legion was the only thing that kept me there but I had taught them all I had to teach. I used to call it my home because I thought that was the reality I was destined to live in. It was time to be a little selfish again, for once. Imra is the leader now, I’m not needed anymore in the 31st century. So, that’s why I’m back.”   
_  
‘It’s you, I’m here for you.’_  was what he truly meant.

Kara looked at Mon-El silently for a few seconds:

“I.. I hit that disruption.”

“What?” His eyes went wide, “How?”

“I used your legion ring. In the previous version of the timeline, I didn’t handle things well with Reign. I managed to kill her but.. she killed my mom and..”

“And?” Mon-El’s hand was absentmindedly stroking hers on her knee, something he once did every time he was worried about Kara.

“And she hit J’onn too, but you pushed him out of her way. She killed you, too.” Her hand was now on top of his, her gaze lowered.  
  
Mon-El grabbed her chin, making Kara look at him.

“But you’re here now.”

“Now I am.”

Both had learned an important lesson about time, and that was it wasn’t supposed to be wasted: his hand dropped from her chin, kissing her softly like the first time, but hunger and passion accompanied his sweetness. Kara leaned naturally into Mon-El’s hands, they were moving in a perfect synch. 

It was like a lifetime had passed since they last lay on that couch and their lips and tongues met, but not for their bodies that knew one another so well; their touches sent electric shocks down their spines, they could feel these wonderful sensations only when they were together. For so long they believed they couldn’t feel that way ever again, but despite all the odds, Mon-El was now carrying Kara to her bed and giggling between the kisses, high on love. That was definitely going to be the happiest night they’ve had in years.  
  
It had become so easy for them to give up on romance as superheroes, to be pessimistic and believe that the worst was yet to come; after all they had been through, thinking that happy endings weren’t meant for Supergirl and Valor had become the safest option. At the end they could see that even if it sounded like a cliché, love could find a way, love did find a way.

 

** End. **

**Author's Note:**

> [An older work that was originally posted on Tumblr]
> 
> Twitter : @evetessmacher
> 
> Tumblr : Iminyourhandskara
> 
> Thanks for reading!


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